The Disappearances by Emily Bain Murphy

Author:Emily Bain Murphy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

The bell tinkles overhead when I enter the hardware store. I weave through the aisles, past grinders and vises, Singer sewing machines and lawn mowers, to examine the stove models under blinding overhead lights. After picking out the most expensive one and arranging for delivery, I return to the sewing machines. Some of the needles look hefty enough to stab someone with—​to gouge out an eye, pin a hand into a wall or a table. I pretend to examine the number 2 compass saw that narrows into a rapier point. I can’t tell if the mirror hoisted in the upper corner is showing me, but I palm the thickest package of sewing needles anyway. Slip them into my pocket, all while keeping my eyes trained on the saw.

I have the money for them, of course. Taking them is just for fun.

Ironically, a salesman is talking to the owner about a new lock system when I sail past them with the needles in my pocket.

The salesman slides his business card across the counter just before I walk out the door. “The question is, how much would you pay for peace of mind?” he says to the owner.

That’s when the flicker of my idea comes back to me. Catches flame.

How much would you pay?

Variants. Bottled. Euphoria. Peace of mind.

I consider it as I return home to Phineas. As I carve out an empty place in the belly of my wooden bird. I jimmy a lever like a corkscrew inside, so that when I twist the bird’s head, a needle descends.

The Variants, the Variants. The discovery that should have been at least partly mine. The Variants recapture or enhance senses. Physical experiences. Why hasn’t anyone thought beyond that? Extrapolated to another level? Is it possible to bottle emotions? Capture states of mind?

If people will pay money for a temporary improvement to the physical world—​even something as fleeting and insignificant as a scent—​how much would they pay for something that goes infinitely deeper than that? What price could be placed on the ability to apply a mental state on command, from a pouch or a bottle?

Peace.

Joy.

Courage.

Even the very thing I feel rising within me as I twist my needle back up inside the bird.

Hope.

Not Variants, I think. But Virtues.

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